1/19/2013 - First Stop Key West

Our first stop on the ship was Key West.  Key West is a slim land formation that jets into the Pacific Ocean. Because it is attached to the Florida mainland by a man-made bridge, Key West proudly represents the southernmost point of the United States.  Key West, similar to many Caribbean islands, offers tropical vegetation, year-round warm weather and an island savoir faire.  Key West combines the tourist party atmosphere of New Orleans’ Bourbon Street alongside a laid-back island mentality liken to Montego Bay. You are more likely to see bikes and mopeds on the island, than large trucks or SUVs.

 The Island also boasts a large population of roosters (fondly referred to as “wild cock” by the locals) that roam freely around the key. I am particularly fond of Key West due to the many great memories of girl’s trip to this lovely land 6 years ago that included myself, Tracy, MaryBeth Hayes, Joanne Perkins.

Mostly our stop in Key West consisted of drinking alcohol at the Flying Monkey (where we “hammed on”** the waiter), buying a few trinkets at a souvenir and separate smoke shop (where we “ hammed on”** each clerk) and reminiscing about the events of our previous time in Kew West.

During our hunt the perfect trinket, we perused the main boulevard, Duval Street, and happened upon a flyer for a pool party at Bourbon café.  After a warning from the bouncer to enter at our own risk, we decided to join the party.  The three of us walked through the dark empty bar to the back patio where we found a pool side bar and a sign near the back that read “MEN ONLY”.  Dance music was blasting from the speakers and the bar was teaming with men in a spattering of colorful trunk and speedos sipping cocktails and green bottled beers.  Near the water, a few men sat by the pool fully nude while casually chatting with other nude males.

Suddenly, everyone in the bar stopped and looked at us while Tracy, Jesus and I attempted to look nonchalant.  It was as if the jukebox came to a screeching halt while the men glared at us in disbelief. We were undeterred as we moved towards the bar and planned to order a cocktail. However, approximately 5 steps into our journey to the bar we are intercepted by a slim, sassy barkeep, who pointed to the “MEN ONLY” sign and politely asked us to leave.  We obliged, only after Tracy unsuccessfully tried to convince the barkeep that I was a drag queen.   We moved slowly towards the door hoping to catch a glimpse of further shenanigans. But, eventually decided to go across the street to lick our wounds, order a chocolate dipped key lime pie on a stick and plot our next adventure.

**Ham [ham]verb - hamming – hammed on : The action of making fun of while simultaneously flirting leaving the almost always male prey confused yet oddly wanting more.